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Making your child a good listener

Team AckoFeb 21, 2025

Have you ever wondered why no matter how you burst your mouth giving instructions, your child just does not seem to hear you? Technically, they do. The trouble is not in your child's aural ability but in how you deliver and relay your instructions to them and how they interpret it. Words are the medium through which we convey our thoughts. The words we use have a great impact on the listener. We should think carefully before we speak. Words can have a positive or a negative effect on those hearing them. When talking to your child, it is very important to choose words that uplift the spirit rather than dampening it.

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It can sometimes be frustrating to get your child to listen to you, but there are several positive ways to make the little one actually listen to you.

1. Be a good listener

Be your child’s role model. When your child wants you to listen to him, give him your undivided attention. Your kids will be most influenced by you. Sometimes, we parents are too busy with our work, TV, social media, or are too preoccupied with our thoughts that we hardly give our children a full hearing. This should not be the case. If you want your kid to listen to you, he needs to see that he is being heard well too. Kids return the respect they receive and kids who are heard well by others become good listeners themselves.

2. Say what you mean

Be consistent with your words. If you tell your child, “You can have two more candies,’’ then give him two only. Do not give three or four. Otherwise, your child will only tune you out once he figures out that you don’t stick to your words.

3. Avoid hollering

Get up close and personal. It’s too common for all parents to yell from two rooms away. This is less effective. Get close to your child and talk one-to-one, eye to eye. Your child will respond much better when you are standing close-by or having an eye to eye contact with him.

4. Choose your words carefully for instructions

Use age-appropriate words to state your instructions. Your child will listen better when the conversation is clear and crisp. Do not unnecessarily stretch the commands like, “It would be nice if you do..,’’ or ‘’Don’t you think that you should help……”

Don’t be vague with your words, instead, be clear and specific. Give one instruction at a time. Once completed, tell the little one to do another thing. It will save your time to make him understand what you have said.

5. Modify the environment and remove the distractions

Modify the environment that is not appropriate for listening or learning, assuring that your child has every opportunity to hear from you. If your child is busy watching television or engrossed with other electronic gadgets, it will be senseless to ask him to respond. Switch off the television or tune out the electronic gadget before you say something to your child. But make sure you do not unplug your child abruptly. He may start screaming if unplugged in between. Do it wisely.

6. Use one-word reminders

Most often, kids do not listen because they do not understand the urgency of your request. So, give instructions with clear explanations. Like, “Keep your plates in a sink after dinner else it will be left unwashed.” Your child needs a reminder of what he is supposed to do. Remind him with just a single word. For instance, again when he forgets to keep his plates, just say “plates!” A single word reminder is the best way to get your child’s attention.

7. Make your child face the consequences

Your child should know that there is a price he has to pay for not listening. Sometimes, we’re too lenient with our kids, creating a 100 feet gap between their actions and their consequences. This should not happen always.

Grandma’s Tip: Like, if you keep asking your child to get ready for school quickly and he is not listening to you, let him miss his bus one day and you must not drop him to school. Let him understand the value of time and the consequences of not listening.

8. Praise your child when he listens

Reward your child when he follows directions the first time. Praising with just a simple sentence like “Thank you for helping me’’ or ‘’You are a good listener,” will reinforce good listening skills in your child.

9. Exercise patience

Wait for sometime after directing your child. He might be busy in some work and may not react immediately. Remind him politely after a certain time. Listening is a skill that must be cultivated and not developed on own.

10. Use the word ‘please’

Don’t shout or command orders. Your kid will respond affirmatively to a request done in a polite manner. Always use “please” to make him do a certain thing. Instead of shouting, ‘’Keep your toys in the basket,’’ say “Please, put all the toys in the basket else you might lose them.’’

Helping your child to be a good listener is important. If you inculcate listening skills in your child at this age, in future he will be successful at relations, work, and the society in general.

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Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only, based on industry experience and secondary sources. It is not a substitute for professional advice. Please consult a qualified expert for health or insurance-related decisions. Content is subject to change, refer to current policy wordings for specific ACKO details.

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